I Don’t Care What you Think About My Satanism

I have a track record of alienating my fans, and I think we are in the middle of another mass departure. Over the past 2 weeks, there has been an alarmingly high number of unsubscribes from my work, and many people who were once vocal supporters have now withdrawn. Where once there was standing ovation for my work on LGBT equality in the church, there are now crickets.

For those of you who are still with me, thank you. For those of you who have just discovered my work by way of atheism, Satanism, and the occult, I’m delighted to have you along for the ride. And for those of you have have decided to opt out, I hold no ill will towards you. I thank you for your time with me, and I wish you all the best.

I do, however, want to take some time to briefly clarify my purpose as a creator.

I’m not here to toe the any ideological or theological line. I have my tribal commitments and convictions, but I operate under the assumption that all of them are fluid. I’m not here as a Christian writer, an LGBT writer, an atheist writer, a mental health writer, or a Satanic writer.

Rather, I made the commitment long ago that my job is to simply tell The Story, which is the evolution of experience, belief, and knowledge — namely, my own. I decided that I would be committed to telling this story no matter the cost, and it has (and continues to) cost me. I anger people, I lose friends, and alienate readers. I’m not proud of this, I don’t see this as a sign that I “must doing something right.” I just see it as an unpleasant, undesirable side effect of my commitment.

I’ve turned on ideas, sometimes very harshly: my gay celibate convictions, my exgay ideology, my Catholic faith, my leftist politics, my right politics, my commitment to theism as a whole. I’ve done some admirable things in pursuit of this commitment, and some not-so-admirable things, like almost being taken in by the alt right. And all along, I’ve alienated people. It’s just too much for some, and while that saddens me, I accept it.

We seem to be at another crossroads — my nontheism, self aware Christian heresy, and earnest adoration for the symbol of Lucifer are proving to be just too much for some people.

I understand that you probably think my current positions are sad, silly, dangerous, frustrating, exasperating, and I don’t care. I could hide my Satanism, I could make it more palatable, but I’ve decided I won’t. I’ve never edited my religious life for public consumption, and I won’t start now.

I will always be open to dialogue, and I will always assume that my views will change. I want to reason together, I want to be friends, I want you to feel at ease in my company, and I in yours. However, I also won’t stop telling the Story, and right now, that story is Satanism.

For those of you who can’t handle that — I understand. Get off the bus now, and I wish you all the best. But if possible, I encourage you to stay, if only because coming face to face with ideas we find frightening, uncomfortable, confusing, or frustrating is when the fun really begins. That is when our real work starts, and our true commitments to truth, compassion, and honesty are tested. If it isn’t time for that, I hold no judgment. But if you want to continue on this journey with me, I couldn’t be more delighted.